Eating My Ego

Today I attended a tutorial with my probability and statistics tutor for the Data Science degree. It was around a half hour just me and him, which let me work on the really basic stuff that I don’t understand, and an hour with another student attending to work on the more complex stuff.

I felt bad many times in that hour, I could feel my mind pulling back away from the new ideas. Unfortunately, much of it is stuff that I would have learned at GCSE level if I’d stayed in education and paid attention more, so I’m paying the price now.

Still, I held in there and kept asking questions, even the stupid ones that made me cringe to say out loud. It did feel really awkward but that was the whole point of me going today.

At the end of the day, one thing he told me hit me really hard and it was difficult to accept as an option. My tutor recommended that I go back and study GCSE textbooks on probability.

At 33 years old, someone suggesting GCSE level material feels like a low blow. But it’s not, I looked at the probability chapter of a GCSE textbook and I do need to study this level and work my way up. It’s a bit deflating but it’s also something I never really did in school. It’s not that I can’t learn it, I just didn’t.

So, as the title of this post says, I have to eat my ego and admit it; I need to learn GCSE level probability.

And I will.

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